Now, don't get me wrong: I love those I was hanging out with, so it's not like I was being forced :) BUT...as time went on and I realized that things weren't changing, and my nieces and nephews were getting older, I was missing time with family and missing milestones in their lives and the lives of my friends. (do you hear my violin playin:) ?!).
2 years before my dad passed away, he suffered from a heart attack in Israel. Many of you know that this was the beginning of my turning point. We got word on Saturday, and Tuesday at 5 AM I was on my way to him. When we returned, I began to take time off from work to attend all of his Dr's appointments. This way, he couldn't keep any Dr info from us, and we didn't have to rely on my mom to let us know (since the language barrier on top of medical jargon lead to very little understanding on her behalf - but she did try, bless her heart:) ). I couldn't believe I was 'taking so much time off' for the appointments. I would schedule my own Dr appts after work hours so that it didn't conflict with my day. (I
Starting to be around everyone, it was like I was getting to know everyone all over again. Well, I had missed out on quite a bit, so I spent much of my time catching up with cousins and whomever I'd see.
In the past 4 years, my focus has been to achieve balance in my life. I wanted a family life. I wanted friends in my life that I hadn't been around in so long; just caught up in an email, or over Thanksgiving/Christmas weekends when everyone comes back in to town. I realized that I had to take better control of my time in order to achieve it; things weren't going to shift just because that's what my heart wanted. I had to make intentional decisions.
In March, when I went part time, I was so naive. I thought I could just bounce back in to people's lives like nothing :) You know, all this time I hadn't been around, my friends have built their lives with other friends in them that were actually able to be around for things. So while I'm trying to get to see/talk with everyone on a regular basis, they still see me as a 'once in a while' friend. "OK Lord, I get it." I tell myself as I sadly come to this realization about once a month (yes, still...just realized this again last week). I also thought relationships would magically become bonded and I'd have people that I'd begin to get together with regularly, now that I 'have time'. Yeah, it doesn't work that way either.
WOW - can we say 'therapy time'?! I started this blog to share with you 2 messages that I caught on Focus on the Family earlier this week. They are about balance. I wanted to share a little bit of my story to just say it's easy to become and stay out of balance, and it's hard to get back. But, as you can see, these are issues that I'm still struggling with. I generally tend to hold my emotions in, and share them only in writing - so there you are; the lucky ones that actually come here and get to read about them :).
Balance is so important. Not only is it something most people desire in their lives, but it's God's desire for our lives as well. We need to live in community, and how can we when we're always 'too busy'?! I'm here to tell you - time and precious moments with those you love will not fall in to your lap - you need to be aware and make conscious decisions to include them in your lives.
OK. enough :)
Check out these messages to hear a professional's message :)
I hope I haven't discouraged anyone from listening! He talks about all different things...and if you ever want to get together for coffee/lunch/chat time - you know I'm up for it ;)