ALMOST forgot to post these before Halloween!! ...We have just way too much fun being silly with these babies and pictures!! When we did Jayce's photo shoot, we also tried to get a cute picture of the three kids...not sure what exactly we were planning to do with the pics, but we weren't concerned with that then :) Diana found some matching onsies for the kiddos and we tortured them in order to get the perfect shot (which I'm not sure we succeeded!).
here was our afternoon, starting with the solo shots
Not to alarm anyone, just wanted to have others join us in prayer about this: Last week I was watching TV and a gentleman was talking about his daughter that was born with Spina Bifida. She was 'ok' at birth, but later on they discovered a dimple on her lower back/ bottom, which was a sign. She lost her ability to sense going potty.
Over the weekend, I noticed that Emma had a little dimple next to her tail-bone area/high cheek. Tyler took a look at it and we decided to take pictures of it and send it in to the Dr to check out. I mentioned to him the above and he requested an appointment to check her dimple. He wants to make sure there isn't any drainage from/out of it. He may request an ultrasound to rule out SB or anything else this could possibly be.
So far, there doesn't seem to be any drainage from what I can tell, but then again, it's covered with a diaper the majority of the time so I can't be certain.
The soonest we can get in with him is Monday at 10:10, so please pray with us that this is one of those 'nothing' things on her little body and it may go away as she grows.
We will let you know the results of her appointment.
To answer a question I know some of you are asking yourselves, yes, I do take pictures of Emma everyday :) We are documenting her first year day by day :) Wonderful that we are in the digital photo era to make that a possibility without costing a thing! and it allows me to be able to share her daily activities and growth with anyone here that's interested in checking in on her.
Here are some hangout moments. She's started to acknowledge that it's play time with this little jungle play mat (thanks DeGuzmans!) and when I set her down she smiled and got all excited!
...and she's learned to chill on the couch :)
check out those beautiful blue eyes!
...I always wanted a baby with blue eyes! yay :)
This is for my cousin Alex :) Here was Emma as we were hanging out one day last week...she was wearing a new onsie. looking like a cutie and we were having a grand 'ol day...
...and then...she made a mess :)
...no worries, I won't share more than just this pic, which I'm sure is more than enough!! :)
I do have some more non-Emma pics to post, but I figured order doesn't have to matter ;) And I would hate for anyone to have Emma withdrawals!! :) j/k....
Call us nutty, but we took Emma with us to the game last Tuesday. I know, I know. We thought we'd totally prepared and thought about it thoroughly...well, we did both those things, but our little Ms Emma just didn't have the best of times that day. We started off the game GREAT!
Sadly, we didn't get a pic of her to show off her complete outfit...but here you can see her cute head band! Thanks to Ms Hilda ;) I had her in the Moby since she usually just passes out on me when she's in there. It kept her body out of the direct sunshine :) and we had a little bucket hat that she put on shortly after the pic to cover her head and face. We were also prepared for the cold with her Giants zip up jacket (again, compliments of Ms Hilda - yay!) and all kinds of other warm things we could layer on her.
The one thing we didn't think about was how loud it gets :) And she wasn't very fond of that. We probably stayed in our seats for about half the game. Here was our view...not too shabby...
About the 6th inning, she and I went on a walk over by the bleacher seats where it wasn't as loud, so that was much better...until we were told to go find our seats :( So we headed back...We ended up watching the game standing, but it was a pretty good view - and nice and quiet :)...and yes, as long as we weren't up in our seats, she was nicely passed out ;)
Here we are at the end of the game :) (and this is where we watched the end of the game from)
and here's Emma's shirt she wore! (yup, still not too thrilled at this point once we were home)
ATT Park does these certificates for first time game peeps! Pretty cool that she'll get to have this to remember her oh-so-fun first game ;0
The ride home...yeah...not fun. crying baby and loads of traffic ;) Oh well, c'est la vie! Overall it was a fun day. So glad Tyler had asked for the day off so we could go.
OH YEAH pictures of Emma ;)...
...I love to throw the Dodger stuff out there to rile some of you up. And we didn't want to disappoint any Dodger fans out there only showing her in Giants gear. We dressed in blue on Friday for my dad ;)
Time continues to fly right on by. Life is so unpredictable, but of course, God's plans for our lives are always much better than what we could conjure up for ourselves. 4 years ago today was a turning point in my life. (just about) The whole family was at work: Diana & kids, Ann & Jessica...Chico was there to hang with the kids that weren't working and some of his family. We were all at Discovery Kingdom. My morning started while it was still dark, and the rest of the crew came in just before the park opened it's doors to screaming cheerleaders. The night before, we all left Turlock later than normal, making our last Saturday with him stretch...and I think we're all extremely grateful for that. He stayed alone on Saturday night, and my mom had people assigned throughout the day to come to check in with my dad to make sure he was doing alright...and to keep him company. But they weren't all needed. The first person assigned was Alma.
I don't know all of the details of that morning, in fact, Alma is supposed to be sharing them with me soon, as I'm finally ready to listen and take them in. Loosely, it went a little something like: Alma was told to check in with him about 9. Diana called Alma's cell about 9:30 to check in with her, and Alma said she didn't think my dad was breathing. She went in to the house and my dad wouldn't respond to her, after trying to scope things out on her own, she called Jorge to come look. When Diana called her, they were in the midst of trying to figure things out...then they called the ambulance.
At that point, things got a little out of control. Word traveled to those in charge of the event, and soon after I received a call over the walkie talkie to meet at the bottom of the hill. They were trying to gather us all up. I got to the bottom of the hill and Diana was, in my opinion, going crazy shouting and crying. Like I said before, her family was there, so my first thought was: Chris was on a ride and something happened to him. I couldn't understand what she was saying and everyone else just appeared to be in shock. Minutes later, I gathered that they were talking about my dad and we were on our way out of the park. I got a call on my cell phone from the EMT asking questions about my dad. I had all of his info and started spitting it out: his meds, his Dr's and what their specialties were, etc. I didn't understand why they were asking - to get the Drs to meet them at the hospital?...after answering several questions, and we were just about to the cars, I asked the man, "What's going on? Is he OK?"...I didn't get it. It was all so crazy. We were being escorted out in a pack - there were about 7-10 of us in a bunch just all holding on to each other walking to our cars across the street. Everything was happening so quickly, I was on the mode of calming everyone down and getting home, but not really knowing what was going on. ... The man replied to my question, "Ma'am, he's...." I don't even remember what he said. Dead? Not breathing? It was at that point that I realized what everyone else was reacting to. It was my dad.
We split up in to 2 cars and began our 1 hour 45 minute drive home. It was pretty quiet. My mom was just crying; we were in the back seat of Ann's car. I had to call my uncle who was scheduled to go to the house about 10:30 to tell him not to go...not until we got there. I had to tell him that my dad was dead. I never used that term - for at least 2 years...I said it in Spanish and it was the only time I referred to it. The EMT called me back once he did things on his end and asked me more questions. He was asking me what they were supposed to do with my dad. How was I to know? I mean, I knew he had everything set, but I had never been in this position to say, 'oh take him X', ya know? So they asked if we wanted the coroner's office to pick him up and I said I guess so. Then I called them back and asked them to please not take him from the house until we got there. I wanted to see my dad just one more time...they were gracious and allowed it even though we were so far away and they'd have to basically just hang out at our house until we arrived. Arriving to the house was a combination of feelings. I wanted to run in, yet I wanted it to be the slowest arrival so that we could have the most time possible with my dad. Ann, Crystal, Jessica and I all walked in to his room together and there he was. They did hurry us a long a little, since it had already been a while in their waiting...it's all still such a blur. I wish I could remember with clarity, but I guess that was how it has to be for me to have been able to have gotten through it all.
My new life that had just started, at that moment, ended. My dad was going to the be man in my life. I was going to learn from him about caring for the house and cars; learning to do things for myself. I had just moved back in with my parents, on September 1, I believe. Some day, he was going to be the one to take care of my kids while I went to work. But in a moment that was all over.
And he knew his time was coming. After I'd moved back in, I still have the detailed email I sent to Tyler sharing with him about a convo my dad and I had. My dad told me that now that I was there, he knew he could go and my mom wouldn't be alone. I hated to hear him say that. I didn't want to face what was in the near future. But for some reason, he felt he could talk to me about this topic. Earlier that summer he had also asked me to please respect the DNR order, and to understand why he didn't want to start doing dialysis on a regular basis. And I was to be the one to explain all of this to my brothers and sisters because he said that I would understand. Well what's not to understand? I got what he was saying, it just hurt my heart to process it.
To say that I miss my dad would be an understatement. Especially in going through the pregnancy, Emma's birth and having her home with us now. She'll never get to cuddle with grandpa or hang out with him. Knowing what it's like to grow up with out a grandpa, I know she'll just never feel about him the way she'll get to feel about her grandpa Boyd, since one is tangible and the other isn't. That just breaks my heart.
But...it is what it is. My dad's death is what finally brought me to my knees, and made me quit resisting handing over my entire life to God. It's a little bittersweet.
So...Emma's my little piece of my dad that I can hold and hang on to :) She will be (at least) a partial Dodgers fan for him, just like I always will be :)
Thank you for sitting through this with me. Therapy, again :) I don't speak my feelings very often...so writing is my outlet. And I appreciate you letting me share with you.
Here a few pics of our last year with him:
Crystal's graduation dinner
Paige's Bday dinner
Tyler wrote a beautiful poem on our family's behalf 3 years ago. If you'd like to read it, you can find it here.
Here's a beautiful song to end with: click here for Matthew West, Save a Place for Me to play