Sad, sad, sad...

Well...last week I mentioned in passing that the drive where our photos lived wasn't working.  


BIG SIGH...


Tyler's been working on it since Friday, and it hasn't recovered.  I am 99.9% positive that all the photos will never be able to be retrieved.  


I've cried about it.  I've lost my appetite over it.  I've gotten sick to my stomach.  I even had Emma stay the night with my mom because I was just numb to everything when I realized the thing we'd gotten to keep them all 'safe' made them go away never to be seen again. 


Ever since my dad passed away, still shots of life have become my favorite things.  To capture moments, no matter how silly or normal, moments of firsts, moments of sweet and tender memories, creating something that I could 'always go back to, to relive' was what I had set out to do.  


I was taking at least 1 photo of Emma a day, in her first year of life.  A neat little something I'd heard from friends.  I was going to create a fun treat for some really special (to Emma) people.  I wanted her to be able to see how we'd documented her beautiful smile, her firsts, her moments, how she played and lived her days in the house here with us and life all around us.  


You may be reading this and thinking, "girl, their photos.  get over it.  you have life - live IN it".  And I've been telling myself that same thing over and over and over and over again.  


So, I won't be able to continue catching you up on the end of March through now.  You did get a peak of Emma's 9 month photo shoot at least ;) 


To be honest, I'm not sure I'll be snapping that camera for a while.  It makes me sad to even acknowledge it, so I've been ignoring it.  


I know, I've got some issues here.  I'm mourning ;(  Getting over it...but still sad.  I am very sorry for the family that has been relying on me to hold their precious memories as well.


Exhaling now....big sigh again...gonna go back to my precious little one and enjoy looking at her face today.  It changes so much so quickly...and I want to remember it just as it is and enjoy it in the day so I can look back on it with my eyes closed :)