40th Anniversary

I thought I was going to be good and share these right away!  I did upload them the day following the party, just haven't really been able to sit and transfer them in to a post!  I think there are so many pis, I will minimize the words ;0  You're welcome!

I had to share this one below because we're cracking up, Charrie and I had our legs up on grandma but that got cut out ;0

if you'd like to see them all - click the below 'view all' and it will take you right to them!  There are also many all family shots that were taken by Kimberly and Easton but we haven't gotten them yet...will try to add those when we get them!

Blue October...this book, my book

Why blue?  And how is it paired with the month?  Something to do with Emma's eyes (sorry, they've turned hazel!) ...Dodger blue ;0  And yes, Dodgers are definitely woven in to it, but I'm not necessarily referring to a color.

The month of October generally brings one thing to mind: Dad.  Dad's birthday is the 11th, and he went to heaven on the 22 - 5 years ago today.

Just thinking of this month during anytime of the year evokes so many feelings, and this year, for some reason, has been the most emotional since he passed.  Blue has been my overwhelming feeling this month.

On the first anniversary, Tyler wrote a great poem.  I have to re-share it:
It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year,
There is so much we want to say,

About how much we’ve thought of you,

Each and every day.

We wish that you were here right now,

And that we could enjoy you still,

Watching you light the barbeque,

And burning (just right) hotdogs on the grill.

The memories that we have of you,

Are close to all our hearts,

To measure how much we miss you daddy,

Would show up off the charts.

It’s funny all the little things,

That make us think of you,

From toothpicks to Chinese food,

And especially Dodger blue.

If we could have one moment,

Or better how about two,

We would wrap our arms around you daddy,

And whisper We love you.

Just makes me cry every time I read it, especially now.  The more life goes on, the more I miss my dad.  I was talking to Tyler about it and it seems that, to everyone else around me, the more time has passed the more people are getting used to him being gone.  He's become pretty absent from conversations.  Just references here and there.  

I completely understand that, don't get me wrong.  That's what we need to do is pick up and carry on.  

Which, I obviously have.  

But for me, every step forward that I don't get to share with him continually reminds me that he's completely absent from it.  He didn't get to meet Tyler, he hasn't been able to see the joy that has since come in to my life...how completely happy I am now. He didn't get to help us work on the house or move in.  He didn't get to see me pregnant, be there when Emma was born, and he doesn't get to see her fun faces or make her french toast for breakfast:)  What's more is that she doesn't get to experience her grandpa.  

He doesn't get to see that I finally got it, after all the times he said to me, "Connie, why do you work so much?" and get to see me be at home enjoying  a different kind of life.  I can't stop in and see him during the day, pick him up to take him to the grocery store, go out for chinese buffet (for an insanely large lunch), go to the Giants and Dodgers games each year.  


I know grief is a process.  Certainly can't just cry once and be all good forever and ever. I was told by a good friend of mine that grieving is like a book.  You pick it up and go through as much of it as you can, then, you close it and place it back on the shelf until the next time you have time to grab it.  I can honestly say that I know I've only gone through small portions of "this book".  I felt like I had to be good for my mom when it first happened, then I was moving forward with life and busy with work.  Now that we're more settled with Emma and I'm not working, I guess I'm finding more time to be able to embrace 'this book' at this stage in life.


I have had some great cries over the past few weeks. Good releases.


I can rest assured 'this book' will have many more cries, and other emotions as well as time goes on.  I'm so glad to have the Lord to rest in and be comforted by.  I'm learning to lean in to Him in a different way through our church's current theme and my perfectly (Godly) timed devotionals.  


Thank you for letting me share.  And for listening.


Let me remind you, if you know someone that has lost a loved one - talk to them about it. Ask a question.  Let the person know it's OK to talk/share openly.  I know it's a scary topic, but man does it make you feel better to not have it or the person feel forgotten.  And most likely, it's nice and freeing to share something: a thought, memory or just be able to speak freely about it.

4 Years

Apparently, this year I have become fashionably late in sharing photos.  Seriously, it's generally 2 months after the fact is when I finally get them up!  I bet it will become later/harder to get closer to the date take when Emma goes down to 1 nap a day ;0  But, praise the Lord, she JUST dropped from 3 to 2 naps about 2 weeks ago, so I'm very much enjoying and appreciating these times.

Back to the topic here...on the first of September, my amazingly talented, kind and loving husband and I celebrated our 4 year anniversary!  Can you believe it?!  We barely can!!

We have been fortunate enough to be able to celebrate our anniversaries (up to this point) out of town.  We know what a huge blessing that is!  If you're a memory junkie like me, or just have some time to kill online, and would like to live through September 1 in our world since 2007, enjoy the following links: Wedding Slideshow (via 3rd anniv post), Anniversary #1 - Mexico, Anniversary #2 - Hawaii, Anniversary #3 - Napa.

This year, we decided to keep it local again and just head to San Francisco for the weekend.  Feels like we go their often for one thing or another, Emma alone has been there at least 3-4 times in her first year, but it's always straight to what we're going for and straight back home.  Neither one of us had every really done touristy things or checked out the landmark sites. Crazy, right?  

We kicked off the weekend by attending our yearly Giants vs Dodgers game :) Emma's carrying out the Father's Day tradition I had with my daddy, with hers - Tickets to the game!!  Eventually, she'll come too, but this time around she sat it out (she has already attended a Giants game, no skin off her nose).  BACK TO US (wow, I sure do get side tracked, don't I?!)..Tyler took the day off and after a late/lazy morning, we started our time in SF with a late lunch at MoMos.

We'd always noticed it across from the park, but again, we usually go straight to the game and back, so it was nice to get their early and have a relaxing lunch to start our day...

(wow major baby bangs going on there!)

We go to the park early enough to catch batting practice.  We were actually one of the first like 10 people in the park that day - pretty sure that's the earliest we've EVER been!  It was nice to see it fill up..we walked around and just took it all in

OH - and PS: we usually pay about $140 for these seats, but this last year (even after winning the pennant!) I bought them as soon as they went on sale and got them for $40 (without the $1)...CRAZY cheap!

...and we enjoyed the game...

So - now you know our game tix were super cheap...Tyler and I use a Hilton Honors Amex and earn points for hotel stays.  Seriously, we put everything on it to rack up the points, and once or twice a year we exchange points for a hotel room.  We had so many points towards the end of the summer that we were able to stay at Fisherman's Wharf Hilton for 2 nights - Free!...there I go again, more background :)  When we got back to our room that night, we had this lovely little champagne and truffles set waiting for us.  A little gift from the manager, since we're gold members ;0  - wahoo! 

(they also gave us free breakfast each morning, at the time of check in!)

The next day (after our free bfast), we went on a tour of the city (only $19 through SpreeBird/Screamin' Daily Deals if you sign up through this link, I get cash credit;0) Oh my goodness, we got to see SO MUCH!

Our tour started at the painted ladies, aka, the 'face' of 'Full House'.  The yellow one right behind me was 'their house'.

I've ALWAYS wanted a pic with the bridge in the background!  Mmm..quite possibly one that didn't have my hair covering my face or hanging on to Tyler for dear life (because it was so incredibly windy!!)...but it is what it is ;0

here's my stud of a hubby ;0

We thought this sign was pretty funny.  It's header should be, "Don't do...anything here."

We went to the top of some hill (yeah, memory is not the best anymore) and got to see a beautiful view of the City...and another model shot of my handsome hubby.

Sunday morning, we walked along Fisherman's Wharf and down to the pier.  We stopped in the Rainforest Cafe and saw these bar stools...couldn't help but take a fun pic on them.

...then before we headed home, we walked around the Ghirardelli Chocolate Festival...and made our last stop a little desert break......mmmmmmmmm.

So, folks, there you have how we spent our fourth anniversary!  Quite fun ;0  It was a little bit of a financial stretch to plan the trip, so we enjoyed each blessing the Lord put in our path along the way.  We actually spent as much as we would have on perhaps a day trip or even a day in Modesto...or one of those walk up and down every isle at Target days ;0.  God is so good!  Makes the memory of the weekend that much sweeter.