Friday, October 28, 2011

Ahhh...

Well, it's been quite a couple of months here.  There was some time of poor sleep, a struggle (that's still around) of adapting to our current season -which I can get in to below- and much more ground work being laid down in to this life o'mine.

YOU: wa?!

ME: It's been a tough couple of months!  As with most people, not sleeping well at night makes things tough during the day:)  Praise God I'm about a week and a half out of it, and as of yesterday, finally felt myself out of the 'haze'.

Yesterday, I felt like I 'woke up' and found myself as a mother of a barely walking toddler and thought, "Where did the last 14 and a half months go?!".  So maybe the haze has been a bit longer.  Kinda scary, huh?!  All of a sudden I'm the in-tune mama I've been trying to read  about (so I can find 'how to'!) trying to become.  So much for all that teaching time and special developmental time I've now bypassed in little Ms Em's life ;0...not too worried, she seems just fine.  ...all kidding and silliness aside tho, just being completely honest.

The struggle with adapting in this season is missing my husband.  He's here.  "Goes" to work about 6-7 days a week, then comes home and works some more.  Our choosing.  The Lord provided an opportunity for a huge blessing financially, and in turn, Tyler's committed to working his little tail off after putting in 40 office hours + 12 or so event hours a week.  Poor guy, I know.  But the Lord also tells me time and time again for me to quit trying to bring in additional income myself.  I need to focus on my family and home.  I struggle very much with this!  I get approached to do things often...even if they're mainly as favors/not paid...but it's becoming more and more clear to me that He does not want my attention to be split.  SO...Tyler to work it is.  And me to support/encourage him and step up in all things for hubby (to assist in any way I can)...is a struggle.  I think I'm mainly struggling with just missing him.  By that I mean, just getting that time to talk and spend real quality time with one another.  We've both been so exhausted that we're more like zombies once Emma goes to bed, and eventually I just fall asleep.  Prayerfully, tho, now that sleeps treating me well and I'm feeling like I'm in the game, I'm hoping to be more on it and be able to reconnect.

I knew this time was coming; this season for Tyler's always tough due to the extended work week/hours for these six months.  Quite honestly, I was dreading it.  All summer, I felt as tho the Lord was spoiling us (which was awesome;0).  I knew that this fall/winter, He was going to bring me to a new place so I can learn to lean on Him in a new way.

And I've arrived.  Now for the learning.  One thing that is definitely going to assist is the new book we've started in my Bible study, Crazy Love. 1 chapter and a few videos (that he directs you to in the book) in, I'm  super excited about this new journey.  I love God's timing and how I could never in a million years ever possibly line things up so perfectly.  More on that throughout the next couple of months, I'm sure!

For now, I wanted to share this video that I watched this am.  Seriously, take the 15 minutes to watch the entire thing.  Especially if you usually don't watch when I post something:)  I pray you will!  ...enjoy...

3 comments:

Cathy/Nani said...

I have this video at home. Francis has been one of our main speakers at our youth conferences in the past.. HE is coming again this year for one session. ;)
He is good.
;)

ASHENFELTERS said...

No joke, that book will change your life. I've read it through 3 times and still am learning from it. I love you sis! Thank you for your willingness to stay home with my sweet niece, it is a sacrifice, but SO well worth it in the end! On that note, i am starting my full time job monday..I guess I am on the other side of things...and it feels VERY weird after not working like this for 12 years...BUT, God is good.:) The AWESOME thing is, I get the same breaks as my kids, so the WHOLE time you are out here..i am off!:) CANNOT WAIT!

Aunt Nell said...

Amen!! WOW. LOVE LOVE LOVE Francis. He certainly has the gift to speak directly to others....to ME! Every time he spoke when I used to go to BNYC (now Momentum) It was like he knew EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I am always in tears as the spirit leads through him to convict me in some way or to confirm things I have been feeling. After this video I watch a few more that came up and wow....the sermon he gave last year called SURRENDER really spoke to me. God called him and his family out of his comfort of his own church and into a new area...either LA or a 3rd world country (not sure where they actually ended up going...) but WOW. I totally felt as he did about me moving to Brasil...Jair and I had talked about the possibility of staying in the US or me moving to Brasil or both of us going to another country. I had felt a calling a long time before I met Jair to go to (my specific words...) Africa, Brasil, Indiana (to be with my amazing fam) or anywhere God wanted me to go. I never imagined he would actually answer that prayer. So like Francis shared in that video SURRENDER, its scary, its hard, its difficult, but its also incredble and amazing and EXCITING to know that you are following Gods call!! WOW...Ok...I will get off my soap box now, but just wanted to say THANK YOU, Connie for posting this video right now. Its exactly what I needed!!

Excited for you and your new adventures and life and timing that God is leading you guys on. Of coarse I know times wont be easy for you guys (new schedule, busy times, etc) but I am glad you are following Gods calling for YOUR life! :) Hugs and love and kisses to you all!! <3